5 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE

5 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE

Being in your twenties and early thirties is all about relationships with a major focus on dating. As I went through my twenties I learned a lot about dating and my view of what I wanted changed as I matured. Part of it had to do with lacking my father my whole life. I had my grandpa as my father figure but it’s not the same. I didn’t realize that until I was 27. Having an absent dad lead me to crave attention from guys and want security. I think that’s why I fell madly in love with a guy way older than me. A year or so after that relationship (my now boyfriend) mentioned to me that you do not really get to know someone for at least 6 months after you meet. I agreed with this, and being friends with someone before dating seems impossible these days but a great way to enter into a relationship. There’s a fine line between trying to be friends with the opposite sex and dating them.


In my very early twenties here is the advice I told myself:
-Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional
-People come and go in life and only those that matter will stay
-Don’t fall for guys so easy. Take it slow. Make them work for it.
-Don’t cling on when it’s not right
-There could be many people in your life you could see yourself marrying
-In a relationship you shouldn’t be upset all the time and you shouldn’t make all the effort
-Be with someone who isn’t afraid to talk about kids or marriage
-Be with someone who’s not afraid of commitment
-Be with someone who cares and makes me a priority
-Choose the guy who will make me a better girl


Well some of those things listed above are important; the focus shouldn’t be on what not to have/do. Over the last few years there have been many talks with my girlfriends about guys and what we want in our partners. My uncle always told me if you have FUN and can communicate you could make any relationship work, including friendships. I added a few others to that list to come up with my 5:

1-Spiritual-Do you have the same spiritual beliefs? Can you encourage each other in that way? For me as a Christian, is that person pointing me towards God and vice versa?

2-Values– Do you value the same things in life? Do you have similar ideas about what the purpose of your life on this earth is?

3-Financial- same financial views– Is one person frugal and the other spends a lot?

4-Intimacy/ physical attractiveness – point blank are you attracted to them? Even if all the other 5 things are there, not being attracted can kill a relationship.

5-Have fun/communicate/best friend – Ultimately if you can have FUN together, communicate about things and solve problems together and consider your partner your best friend, you will make it through anything.

I’m lucky to have all 5 of those with my boyfriend and business partner Brent. Your 5 may be different but it’s important to have solid ground on things that matter and things that will last. It kills me some of the things my friends say they want in a relationship. Sadly, I know they will keep going on tinder and bumble dates until their views change and they will never find the “right” person. Andy Stanley says that’s a myth btw. Stop looking for the right person and focus on becoming the right person. Ask yourself- Are *you* the person the person you’re looking for is looking for? There may be many people in your life you could see yourself marrying, but you have to be at the right place for yourself and the same for that person.


So if you’ve found that person, how do you stay happy?
What makes a happy couple:
1-Mutual submission
2-No expectations
3-Give each other lots of grace

We all have hopes, dreams and desires. Does your partner know what yours are? Be clear. These can often turn into expectations to be fulfilled and then disappointments. Do you think your spouse owes you something? As long as you think your spouse owes you something, your marriage will be all about keeping score, which will destroy your love. You will have to make a choice over and over and over again to live by those 3 things, and it’s not easy. Imagine a relationship where both people are living by all 3- now that’s a beautiful thing.

Check out some of the Andy Stanley podcasts on the “Your Move” app. He has GREAT advice (whether you’re a Christian or not) on life, love and business.

Here’s one of the episodes in the series “What happy couples know”:
Go THRIVE in your relationships! <3

AUTHOR: Amanda Fontaine is considered the Chief FUN Officer of Personal Training and Health/Fitness. She's a Personal Trainer at Empower and Founder of Thrive Alive. She specializes in creating FUN, creative yet challenging workouts for her clients and promoting a lifestyle of play for adults.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WHY- 7 Layers Deep

Image
When we need to find motivation for change We Start by Digging Deep Into Our WHY We all have struggles in reaching our goals, but without knowing WHY we have them it’s easy to slip and get off track. This exercise is called “LOOKING 7 LEVELS DEEP” and here’s what you do: Write down the #1 reason why you have this goal ___________________________ Then LOOK ANOTHER LEVEL DEEPER and ask yourself why that #1 reason is important to you? Then go even 5 more levels deep until you’ve asked yourself WHY to your previous answer 7 Levels deep. Once you have THE FINAL 7th level WHY, please share it with me so I can keep you accountable. Here is an example of how to go 7 levels deep: I want to lose 10 lbs I want to lose 10 lbs because I feel unhealthy I don’t want to feel unhealthy because I’d like to have more energy for my partner & job. I’d like to have more energy for my partner and job because I’m missing out on spending quality time with him/her ...
Read more

FUN Partner Workout

Image
Working out is always better with a buddy, so grab a friend and sweat together. *For this workout you will need a TRX suspension trainer, but I have included a substitution if you do not have one at your gym. Instructions : One partner will be doing a HOLD while the other does REPS. Start with 1 REP and then 2, up to 6. Example : Partner A does 1 TRX Row (while the other is holding). Then Partner B does 1 TRX Row (while partner A is holding). Partner A does 2 Rows, then Partner B 2 Rows, etc. Keep alternating back and forth until you get to 6. Exercise 1: TRX Rows (or supermans laying on mat)/ Row HOLD Exercise 2: Squats (squat jump for advanced option)/ Squat HOLD Exercise 3: TRX Pushup (Or regular pushups on ground)/ Pushup HOLD Exercise 4: V ups/Boat pose HOLD Exercise 5: Bridges/ Bridge HOLD Second time around you can start with 6 REPS of each and go down to 1. ***THRIVE on!*** AUTHOR: Amanda Fontaine is considered th...
Read more

Consistency + Motivation = Results

Image
This year I trained for my first national competition called CG Games (Camp Gladiator). Not only did I have to be strong, and agile but have endurance, and speed as well. There are 5 events: strength, agility, endurance, interval and peak (which was an obstacle course). It took months of training leading up to nationals to really see a difference in my strength and speed and that’s what I want to teach you- that consistent action over time is what gets results . You cannot expect to workout one day and wake up the next morning with your body looking different. You cannot choose to eat right one day and expect to lose weight. It takes consistent action over time. They key is consistent! You have to be patient and one day you will see a difference. Also, in order to reach your goals you have to know your WHY, your motivation for change. I learned a big lesson in this but once I got mine I remembered it in the hard times. I remembered it when I woke up at 5 in the morning a...
Read more